


i won't give you up (old habits die hard)

by vatonages



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Friends to Lovers, Jealousy, M/M, Pining, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-12 02:02:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18436745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vatonages/pseuds/vatonages
Summary: “It’s okay. You’re just looking out for me because I’m your friend.” Jaemin clears his throat, and Jeno finally sits up. A friend. Right. That’s all it is.Jeno can smell his emotional turmoil again, but not the cause, so he rubs his cheek against Jaemin’s, scent like apples and pumpkin patches and fall leaves, but instead of peace it just brings Jaemin more anxiety. Anxiety because he doesn’t want to ever lose this, because he loves it so much.





	i won't give you up (old habits die hard)

All things considered, Jeno is a pretty level headed omega. He has to be, to be friends with an alpha like Jaemin. As nature would have it, it’s pretty hard for an alpha and an omega to be “just friends”, but Jeno generally doesn’t even spare them a passing glance, pretty apathetic about the whole thing to be honest.

 

With Mark Lee being the only exception.

 

“Ugh,” Jaemin groans. “You’re fucking with my focus.” A natural reflex, Jeno’s sweet omega scent grows stronger at the sight of Mark, like perfume. It’s an uncontrollable courting gesture, but with so many people in the library nobody knows who it’s from or who it’s for except for Jaemin.

 

Honestly, Jaemin can hardly blame Jeno for his lack of focus. It was shaky to begin with, but Jeno wasn’t helping. Jaemin was grossly well acquainted with Jeno’s scent, so it shouldn’t have really felt like anything. Not after so many years of friendship, but he supposed in the right concentration it could still make him dizzy. That had to be why, right? It was biological, instinctual, undeniable.

 

“Huh?” Jeno asks, startled out of his daze. “What’d I do?”

 

“Your scent is so strong right now, every alpha in a 20-mile radius is going to enter an early rut.” Jeno pouts, embarrassed.

 

“I can’t help it,” he whispers, seeing Mark from across the room. He looks so friendly, smiling and explaining something to a friend of his. “He’s so...nice.” Jeno finishes. Jaemin snorts.

 

“Is that what’s sexy to you? Kindness?” Jeno glares at him. Or he tries. He’s not good at it.

 

“Maybe it is,” he says.

 

“Isn’t the whole appeal of alphas supposed to be that they’re like, dominant and in charge and basically douchebags?” Jeno makes a disgusted sound.

 

“Well that’s not appealing to _me,_ which is why I usually hate you guys.”

 

“Don’t include me!” Jaemin whines.

 

“Well!” Jeno says, throwing up his hands. Jeno sighs, a lovesick fool, and decides he’s seen enough of Mark for now, and it’s time to do his math homework for real. By now though, the sweetness is unbearable. It’s actually starting to make even Jaemin’s heart race, which means Jeno is probably ruining the focus of every other alpha in there as well. And an omega as pretty as Jeno, well...This could get chaotic.

 

Jaemin looks over at Mark, just out of curiosity. Simply an alpha observing another alpha, and he notices Mark looking curiously at Jeno, like he’s interested in him.

 

Jaemin has to try very hard not to get upset, takes a deep breath. He hates when alphas look at Jeno, but it’s just because Jeno is his friend and he’s overprotective. He can’t help it. It’s in alpha DNA to want to protect omegas or something (Jaemin doesn’t always pay attention in class) and it just makes him feel like they’re leering at Jeno like he’s a piece of steak. It makes him feel sick and angry.

 

Jeno picks up on the change in scent, looks up, his face soft.

 

“You okay?” he says gently, putting a hand on Jaemin’s arm, and it calms him down entirely, like lavender oil in a diffuser (which Jeno cannot have because he has _cats, three of them,_ and Jaemin it’s _toxic_ for them-) and Jaemin breathes deeply.

 

“I’m fine,” he says. Jeno frowns.

 

“I can smell that you’re agitated. Why even try to hide it? Is it something I did?” Jeno asks, and well, kinda?

 

“No, sweetie.” Jaemin says patiently. “I just didn’t realize how late it’d gotten.” Jeno checks the time and raises his eyebrows, probably because it’s not actually that late, but he starts packing up his stuff regardless.

 

“I’ll go with you. Besides, you’re going to keep me safe while I walk home, right?” Jeno asks, smiling.

 

They’ve been doing this forever, their presentations only serving to explain a previously inexplicable urge Jaemin has always felt even as a child to protect Jeno and keep him safe. Jaemin doesn’t like to let Jeno walk home by himself, not all alone, not past sunset, smelling like everything an alpha could ever want, not someone as beautiful as Jeno.

 

Jaemin won’t admit it but Jeno can tell that he likes it, that it appeases his big alpha ego. Jaemin isn’t sure Jeno _needs_ him to escort him home, like there’s a vicious alpha hiding out on every corner waiting to pop out and attack him, but Jaemin’s policy has always been better safe than sorry, and he sort of insists.

 

Plus, Jeno always holds onto his right arm when he walks with him.

 

Jaemin puts out a hand to help Jeno stand up (he doesn’t need help) and if Mark happens to see it and think that Jeno is taken and that Jaemin is his alpha, well, that’s just not Jaemin’s fault.

 

Jaemin walks him home, holding his hand and keeping him close. Jaemin walks on the outside of the sidewalk. He says it’s just because he likes it, but actually it’s dark out now, and Jaemin doesn’t want to risk someone snatching Jeno up. It makes him anxious, and he’s not even an omega.

 

He pumps out alpha pheromones like it’s his job, like putting a Do Not Touch sign on Jeno, masking his sweet and enticing omega scent. It’s a routine of theirs, because even though they’re physically almost the same size, their body language gives them away. Jaemin walks like an alpha, chest puffed out and spine straight with his proud jaw, while Jeno looks like he’s trying to disappear, phase into Jaemin’s body like a ghost.

 

Usually, Jaemin just drops Jeno off, watches him walk all the way up to the entrance and doesn’t leave until Jeno’s inside, until he’s heard him lock the door. It’s his routine, his life.

 

Jeno must really think whatever made Jaemin upset earlier is still bothering him, because he lays it on thick. Jaemin is an _alpha_ alpha. He’s simple and easy to please and he takes pleasure and pride in protecting Jeno and feeling needed. So Jeno goes “It’s so nice of a big, _strong_ alpha like you to walk a weak little omega like me home,” even though Jeno is actually pretty physically strong and they’re the same height, give or take a centimeter or two and how bad Jeno’s posture is. Though Jaemin _always_ wins arm wrestling contests, and he won’t let Jeno forget that.

 

Jaemin tries to keep the stupid grin off his face, but it doesn’t last long. Jeno laughs, smacks Jaemin’s arm.

 

“You are such a walking stereotype. Where is the empowerment?” Jeno laughs. “You’ll let me degrade myself like that?”

 

“Well, we both know it’s not true, and if someone else said that about you I’d tear them to pieces with my perfect teeth.” Jaemin says. Another laugh, the one that sounds like happy panting. Jaemin gets a weird sense of pride from making Jeno laugh, too. It wouldn’t be weird but Jeno laughs at literally everything, so there shouldn’t be any pride from it. A falling leaf could make Jeno laugh. Jaemin isn’t special.

 

“So I’m allowed to degrade myself as long as I’m the only one doing it and it makes you feel big and powerful?”

 

“Don’t say it like _that_ ,” Jaemin says, but he’s not denying it.

 

“You’re ridiculous,” Jeno says, half fond. And then “Oh, this is my house.” as if Jaemin hasn’t both walked to it a million times and also been inside of it. “You wanna come in?” Jaemin shrugs. He’s got nothing better to do (Not much is better than spending time with Jeno).

 

They take their shoes off at the door and only then does Jaemin realize how humiliating it is that he has one purple sock and one green sock on. He was running late this morning, okay? Who even wears matching socks anymore? Jaemin looks down, and oh, Jeno does. Jeno has two burgundy socks on that match his sweater. Jaemin can’t stand him.

 

“Hey, mom!” Jeno calls. “I’m home! Jaemin is with me!” he calls, and Jeno’s mom yells back from her desk, where she works from home.

 

“Hey, Jaemin!” she says at the same time Jeno’s dad comes in to greet them. Jaemin gulps.

 

They’ve been friends since before presenting and Jaemin has never done one untoward thing towards Jeno, let alone in his father’s presence, but for some reason his dad is convinced Jaemin is some devilish little creature trying to “deflower” his son, whatever that means. Jeno’s parents are both _betas,_ so his dad’s aggressive handshake and stare shouldn’t really rattle Jaemin too much, but if Renjun is anything to go by, betas can be plenty scary too. Jeno laughs.

  
“Dad, don’t. I’ve told you a million times, and you know Jaemin! He’s not like that.” he says, and his dad relents only somewhat.

 

“Sorry,” Jeno says when he’s gone. “He hates alphas in his house.” Jaemin laughs.

 

“I can’t really blame him,” he says.

 

“But he must trust you a little bit,” Jeno admits, when they’re in his room and he’s shut the door. “Because he lets us keep the door shut.” That makes Jaemin blush. He chooses not to say anything, pulling out his books again.

 

“Maybe we should study some more,” he suggests, and Jeno nods. “Now that _Mark_ isn’t here to distract you.” Jeno laughs.

 

“Not my fault he’s so handsome. I’d let him do _anything_ to-”

 

“ _Don’_ t finish that,” Jaemin says, trying not to get mad again, but he laughs too.

 

“Why?” Jeno says, crawling up next to him, hindered slightly by his World History book.

 

“Jealous? Not used to another alpha being on my radar?” Devious. How could Jeno corner him like this? His voice is taunting but sweet, always sweet.

 

“Nope,” Jaemin says, not looking up. Jeno leans against him.

 

“I think you are. I think you can’t help it.” Jeno’s pushing it, face closer to Jaemin’s, watching his expression carefully.

 

“Wouldn’t _you_ be a little annoyed if I were suddenly hanging around some new omega?” Jeno shakes his head, but his mouth twitches a bit like he was about to hiss. They’re not supposed to _hiss._ None of them are. They’re supposed to growl, and Jeno _can,_ but he’s not very good at it. His growl is more cute than anything, and he says it hurts his throat. Whatever, it gets the message across, even if every time Donghyuk sees him he goes “Here, kitty, kitty, kitty!” and that just makes Jeno hiss even more as he chases Donghyuk around.

 

“You would be, wouldn’t you?” Jaemin smirks. Jeno looks away.

 

“It would...take some getting used to, but it would be fine eventually. I’m used to Donghyuk, and he’s _touchy._ ” Huh. Well Jaemin will give him that.

 

“That’s true.

 

“Why do you hate other alphas so much? Alphas can peacefully coexist, you know.”

 

“I don’t really hate them, like, in general? It’s more like...I don’t trust them around omegas.” I don’t trust them around _you,_ is what Jaemin doesn’t say out loud. Jeno isn’t dumb, but he tries to see the best in people, even when there’s no goodness to be found, and it scares Jaemin.

 

“But _you’re_ an alpha, and I trust _you_. You’re in my room with me, sitting on my bed with the door shut.” And yeah, Jaemin doesn’t need the reminder. Jeno’s scent is all over this room, and Jeno is so close to him. ”You’re not hurting me. Don’t you think there’s other alphas out there like that? Nice ones?” Jeno sounds hopeful, and Jaemin doesn’t want to crush his dreams.

 

“It’s just that they’re so _rare,_ Jeno.” he says. “But of course there’s good ones.” He settles on that answer, and it makes Jeno smile.

 

“Well, I think you and Mark are a few of the good ones.” he says, giving Jaemin a quick peck on his cheek before really getting started on his studies, and Jaemin sits there, frozen in place for a second, processing that while Jeno highlights a section of the text.

 

It shouldn’t be weird. Jeno has always done that (but only in private), ever since they were kids, so why was it so shocking? Jaemin feels shy, doesn’t look at him for the rest of the time he’s there.

 

 

* * *

 

There’s so many scents in a gymnasium, Jaemin thinks. Especially one where a group of guys are playing basketball, pheromones going crazy because they’re sweating and it’s a competition, and there’s probably enough alpha energy in here to power a city for a night.

 

They’re here to support their friend Jisung, but Jeno is visibly distracted by Mark, who is also playing. Jisung and Mark are teammates, and Jisung thinks the world of him.

 

But Jeno’s hands are grabbing at his pants restlessly, wiping sweaty palms, biting down on his lower lip like he’s trying to draw blood, and Jaemin wonders if it’s getting a bit too much for him, too overwhelming, the swirl of so many alpha scents in a poorly ventilated space.

 

“Do you need to leave?” Jaemin asks, leaning over and whispering. His breath must fan across Jeno’s neck because he shudders.

 

“It’s fine, I’m fine.” Jaemin gives him a look.

 

“You look like you’re having a really hard time, and if you go into early heat here then it’s going to suck big time, for you _and_ for me.” It had happened before, an early heat just months after Jeno presented, still not used to them. Jaemin hadn’t been able to smell it then, but now he always knew, could smell it even before Jeno felt it coming.

 

Jeno’s cheeks had been flushed, lips dry, eyes watery. His skin was hot to the touch, and his smell was becoming overwhelming quickly, Jaemin having to blink hard and take a deep breath to keep him composure. He turned to Jaemin with fearful eyes in a room full of alphas, a look that Jaemin had never forgotten, even now, and tried to bury his face in Jaemin’s chest, letting out a pained noise.

 

Jaemin was an alpha, and his rut was due soon. Of course that had some effect on him, but he had forced all of that down even as Jeno nuzzled into him so that he could get Jeno home safe.

 

“I’m gonna get you home, okay? You’ll be okay,” he whispered, Jeno nodding deliriously into his chest. He looked like he was going to faint.

 

Jaemin had carried him, running to his house. Early heats hit worse because the omega had no time to mentally prepare for them, and Jeno could hardly walk. Jaemin couldn’t afford to waste any time. It wasn’t safe, he wanted Jeno inside his house as soon as possible.

 

He had laid Jeno down on the couch, the door had been unlocked, thank god, and Jeno’s mom was home, so everything would be okay. He made sure she locked the door, and she stared at him for a long time as he walked away from the house. He had felt her staring at him.

 

So Jaemin didn’t really believe all that bullshit about alphas being unable to control themselves around omegas in heat, losing themselves. They could always control themselves as long as they cared enough.

 

But they had to care.

  


“I’m okay, really.” Jeno says. “Just uh, don’t touch me?” he laughs. “I think I can deal with this if you just don’t touch me or...whisper to me or touch my neck or…” Jeno’s voice sounds breathy and uneven, anxious though he’s trying to pretend the situation is funny.

 

“Hey,” Jaemin says, alpha voice, tone demanding. It makes Jeno look up at him. “Deep breaths,” he instructs, and Jeno nods, trying to relax his body.

 

He really doesn’t want to leave Jeno alone, but he also really has to pee, so he gets up and hopes nobody will let anything bad happen to Jeno in such a public space, hurrying to the bathroom.

 

Even though he tried to be quick, he’s missed the end of the game, but the score is still projected on the board, Jisung’s team winning by 6 points. He smiles to himself, making his way back to the stands, and sees Jeno trembling where he’s standing, but it’s okay, because Jisung is there. _Mark_ is there, too, but Jisung is a beta, and he won’t be swayed by the pheromones, won’t let anything happen. Jaemin feels his lips twitch at the sight of Mark, tries to relax, cracks his neck, making his way over.

 

“So you came to the game?” he hears Mark ask Jeno.

 

“Yeah!” Jeno replies enthusiastically, smiling. “We know Jisung, so we came to watch him play. We’ve known him since he was really little actually,” Jeno whispers conspiratorially. “He used to be a _lot_ shorter than this, and cuter,” Mark laughs, and Jisung gives Jeno a slight shove with no real power to it, embarrassed.

 

“Hyung,” he whines, and it just makes Jeno laugh.

 

“Good game, by the way! Congratulations.” Jeno says. God, Jaemin thinks, watching from a distance. He’s so obvious it’s almost sad. Or embarrassing. One of the two.

 

“Thanks! I’m Mark,” Mark says, and Jaemin is almost back to his seat when he thinks to himself _Oh, Jeno knows who you are._ The air in the gymnasium is thick, and Jaemin blames all the competitive alpha scents for making him so antsy and agitated. Jisung catches sight of him as he climbs up the last stair, and smiles at him as Mark extends a hand for a handshake to Jeno. _Don’t touch him._

 

“I’m sorry,” Jeno laughs nervously. “I, um, I’ll have to shake your hand next time.” He fans himself. “It’s just really...alpha in here.” he says, embarrassed. Mark pulls back his hand immediately, a good sign, but Jaemin doesn’t feel any better.

 

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t even think about that”

 

“You thought he was a beta, didn’t you hyung?” Jisung asks, pointing at Mark expectantly, already laughing. “It’s the jawline, I’m telling you,” he laughs, and Mark looks embarrassed.

 

“That’s okay,” Jeno laughs. “People get me wrong all the time, but our friend Jaemin always says he doesn’t get it, because he says I smell so strong.”

 

“Jaemin hyung has a super nose,” Jisung clarifies.

 

“Who’s Jaemin?” Mark asks, and Jaemin is standing right behind him when Mark turns around.

 

“I am,” he says. His skin feels hot, something terrible inside of him, like hatred, a mix of fear and anger and nausea.

 

“Mark, Jaemin. Jaemin, Mark,” Jeno introduces sweetly, always a peacemaker.

 

And then Jaemin growls at Mark.

 

As far as first impressions go, it’s a pretty horrible one. Jaemin’s growl scares Jeno, startles him enough to curl into Jisung instinctively, Jisung’s large hand coming out to smooth Jeno’s hair, watching Jaemin with wide eyes.

 

Typically when one alpha growls at another, things get ugly pretty fast. It’s basically a declaration of battle, but Mark isn’t growling back, just staring at Jaemin, like he’s trying to figure something out. It just makes Jaemin even angrier, and he can’t stop himself, growling even louder, baring his teeth, full of adrenaline. Jisung and Mark are watching him, waiting for his next move, but Jeno won’t look up, face in Jisung’s chest, shaking more than ever. Jaemin feels bad, wants to stop, say he’s sorry, but not to Mark. Absolutely not. Just to Jeno, and maybe to Jisung.

 

“Hyung!” Jisung calls, but it’s not enough. Mark moves forward, a bad decision, and Jaemin is about to lash out.

 

“Mark hyung, I’m sorry, he’s never like this. Never. Jaemin hyung, stop it!” Jisung cries out, and maybe because of how desperate he sounded, or how terrified Jeno looks of him when he chances a peak at what’s happening, but he stops. He takes a look at all of them, and then he runs far, far away.

  


* * *

 

“Guess who royally fucked up today?” Jaemin asks, hanging up his jacket upon entering. He’s not sure when exactly he and Renjun developed the kind of friendship where they could just come into each other’s homes unannounced, but he’s glad. Renjun doesn’t look up from his phone.

 

“You, I’m guessing?” Jaemin plops down in a beanbag chair, picks up the Rubix cube, and fucks up all of Renjun’s hard work. Renjun doesn’t care, he’s solved it a million times. He can do it again. Jaemin just needs something to do with his hands, isn’t used to being so anxious and having such a guilty conscience.

 

“Yeah, but Renjun, I’m _serious._ Like, I really really fucked up. Do you know Mark Lee?” Renjun snorts.

 

“Who doesn’t? Alpha on the basketball team, a real sweetheart, _Canadian._ Everybody knows him.”

 

“Well, I growled at him today.” Jaemin says. Renjun almost drops his phone.

 

“You did _what?”_ Renjun asks, making Jaemin wince. He sounds disgusted, angry, and even a little shocked.

 

“Jaemin, since when do you go around growling at people? You’re not like that.” Jaemin shrinks into the beanbag chair, twisting the Rubix cube slower.

 

“I went to Jisung’s basketball game, right? And obviously Mark is on his team, so he was there, and there were so many alphas in that room, and they were all so competitive! So it, like, really raised the tension, you know? Like Jeno and I were both on edge. And then I left to go to the bathroom and I come back, and Jisung and Mark are standing there talking to Jeno, and for some reason when I saw Mark I just got so _mad._ Like just seeing him there pissed me the fuck off.”

 

“Territorial,” Renjun says, like Jaemin is stupid. _Is_ he?

 

“Huh?”

 

“Jeno is your omega. Like, not _really,_ but yeah, kind of. Like, you view him as yours even if you’re not mated, so when you saw Mark you felt like he was trying to take _your_ omega away from you. Of course you got mad, but you have to be rational, Jaemin. Jeno doesn’t belong to you.”

 

“I know that!” Jaemin snaps, defensive.

 

“Do you?” Renjun challenges, sitting up a bit as he does so. He raises his voice to match Jaemin’s, never one to back down, not even when it’s an alpha he’s fighting with.

 

“Yes! Besides, Jeno _likes_ Mark. He always talks about him and he watched him the whole time they were playing. A little _rude,_ by the way. We did come to see Jisung play, after all.” Renjun smirks.

 

“Are you sure it was all the alphas in the room making you angry? Or were you just _jealous?”_ That word again. Jaemin is getting sick of it.

 

“But I don’t like Jeno like that! I never have. We’re just friends,” he cries desperately.

 

“Maybe your feelings have changed. It’s only a matter of time. No alpha and omega have a relationship like you two have and manage to actually keep it platonic. Don’t look at me like that. Or did you honestly think you’d be the first exception? That it’d be different with you two?” Maybe Jaemin did.

 

“Shut up,” Jaemin says, defeated, but it has no bite. “You’re as smug as an alpha.”

 

“Glad you admit alphas are assholes,” Renjun says, “Now get out. I have homework to do.”

 

* * *

 

 

The worst part of the whole thing is probably the guilt from how _scared_ Jeno had looked when Jaemin growled, how quickly he had dived into Jisung’s arms. Even Jisung had looked terrified, instincts working faster than his mind could, trying to protect Jeno, soothe him. He felt bad for putting Jisung in a situation like that, trying to break up (an admittedly one-sided) fight between two alphas. He really owed the two of them an apology, but he was too embarrassed to approach them. Renjun was right, he never lost control like that. He hated it. He wondered if Jeno would ever trust him again, let him walk him home again.

 

Jaemin lays on his bed very dramatically listening to sad music and drinking a can of beer, which speaks volumes for his emotional distress considering he _hates_ beer, but he doesn’t feel like going out and that’s the only alcohol they have in the house.

 

“No, no, no.” Jeno says, coming in and flicking the light switch on. Jaemin sits up, startled, spills some beer on himself.

 

“Jeno?” he asks. “What are _you_ doing here?”

 

“We’re not doing this, no moping and listening to-” Jeno shuts his eyes to focus. “...Lana del Rey?”

 

“Jeno, seriously,” Jaemin whines. Jeno gives him a look, and joins him on the bed, but he takes it a step further, snuggles up into Jaemin’s chest, doesn’t say anything for a moment as he lays there. He takes a deep breath, and then looks at Jaemin.

 

“What was all that about, with Mark the other day?”

 

“Jeno,” Jaemin says weakly, ignoring the question. “Are you scared of me right now?” Jeno thinks for a minute.

 

“No,” he decides. “I was really scared of you at the basketball game.” Jeno says, playing with his hoodie strings. “I didn’t like that, Jaemin. I didn’t like that at all. I’ve never seen you like that.” Hearing Jeno say it so simply brings shame back up through his entire body. He knows he scared Jeno. He still feels bad, can’t stop replaying that moment in his head.

 

“I’m really sorry,” Jaemin says, ashamed of himself. Jeno smells that, looks up at him, makes eye contact.

 

“I forgive you,” he says. “Because I know you meant it. But you still haven’t answered me. Why’d you do that? What made you so mad?” Jaemin sighs. He can’t possibly tell Jeno the truth.

 

“I don’t know,” he says. “I’ve been trying to figure that out myself. I think all the pheromones in there just really got to me, you know? And it’s like you said, I’m not used to alphas talking to you. It was just overwhelming. You know what I mean, right?” Jaemin asks. Jeno nods.

 

“Yeah, it was intense in there. They need to get a fan or something. I was like one wrong move from an early heat.” Jeno sits up. “Do you think maybe that has something to do with it? You were worried about that, remember? Me going into heat in there. Maybe you were in defense mode because of that?” Jeno asks, and it’s sweet. He’s trying so hard to find a reason, to make excuses for Jaemin. Jaemin holds Jeno’s hand, intertwines their fingers.

 

“Yeah,” he says, smiling softly, ignoring the guilt settling in his stomach. “Maybe that’s it.” Jeno smiles at him, rests his head on Jaemin’s shoulder. He smells like his normal crisp sweetness but even sweeter, and Jaemin is sad, sure that it’s because he came in scared, hoping to calm Jaemin down, laid it on thick.

 

“So we’re okay, then?” Jeno asks. “I told Mark, you know, that you’re never like that. Jisung vouched for you, too. Mark said he understood, said life is just like that sometimes.” Jaemin snorts.

 

“Wow, his wisdom…” Jeno swats at his arm.

 

“Be nice! He could have tried to kick your ass but he didn’t. Most people wouldn’t be so understanding. You know how serious growling at someone is.”

 

“How’s Jisung feel about it?”

 

“Mostly he was just like ‘What the fuck?’ You know, it was pretty bad if he was playing with my hair.” Jeno tries to joke, but it just makes Jaemin feel worse.

 

“Here’s what’s gonna happen,” Jeno says, snuggling into Jaemin’s chest again, trying to soothe him. Jaemin lets himself wrap arms around him, accept the gesture, feel Jeno’s warmth.

 

“I’m going to keep hanging out with Mark, maybe ask him out if I’m feeling confident enough.” A wave of nausea rolls over his stomach. This is fine.

 

“Jisung is going to keep being friends with Mark, and you’re just going to have to deal with it, even if you don’t like him. And I know you don’t, even if I don’t really get why. _But,”_ Jeno says, like he’s bargaining with him.

 

“You don’t have to worry about me abandoning you,” Jeno laughs. “And if you want, I’ll never even bring him up around you. Deal?” Jaemin doesn’t think this is very fair, considering he only really has one option, but he nods anyway.

 

“Deal,” he says, sounding tired. Jeno smiles.

 

“Good,” he says. “Wanna study?” Jaemin laughs.

 

“You must have been really sure of yourself to bring your textbooks over when the last time you saw me I almost ripped Mark’s throat out.”

 

“Didn’t need that gory visual, but yeah, I thought my chances of succeeding were pretty high. Is that a no? Do I have to lug all these books back home by _myself?”_

 

“When you say that are you being sarcastic or not? I can never tell.” Jeno thinks for a moment.

 

“You know I’m not sure? I think it started off as a joke but I mean it now. Please walk me home after this being alone scares me.” Jeno says, all pushed together and without taking a breath. Jaemin smiles to himself, smug. At least Mark hasn’t taken this from him yet.

 

“Of course,” Jaemin says.

 

 

* * *

 

Jaemin is pissed. He’s trying not to be, but he is. He’s not mad because Jeno is dating Mark. No, intellectually he knows he shouldn’t be mad, but he’s an alpha, and smelling another alpha on an omega you’ve been close with, consider one of your people, like a pack member...Well, it’s a little infuriating. That’s all.

 

“Don’t sulk,” Jeno says, coming to hug him. Jaemin bats his arms away.

 

“You smell like... _him._ ” Jeno laughs.

 

“You can say his name! And fine, if it makes you feel better, I will change my shirt.” Jeno walks over to the closet and takes off his shirt, puts on a big hoodie instead. Jaemin doesn’t look, but the flash of skin in his peripheral vision is tempting. When he turns back around, Jeno looks cute in the hoodie. Jaemin suddenly wishes Jeno would wear one of _his_ hoodies, so people would know that he’s Jaemin’s and- Woah. That’s a new thought. He’s not going to let that go anywhere further. Jeno isn’t his. He just isn’t, and the sooner Jaemin can get that through his thick skull, the better.

 

“That reminds me. I wanted to talk to you about something,” Jeno says. “Mark told me he always thought I was an alpha, and you know, people say that to me all the time, so I just laughed and told him I get that often, and he was like, no, that’s not it. You _smell_ like an alpha. Like you literally have an alpha scent. And I was so confused? And he told me that sometimes alphas _scent_ omegas. I thought maybe it just happened because we’re around each other so often, but he told me that it wouldn’t be to this extent. He said it would have to happen because the alpha does it on _purpose._ Have you been _scenting me,_ Jaemin?” Jeno asks, and he’s hugging Jaemin like he tried to before, but this time Jaemin doesn’t push him away.

 

He smells like _Jeno_ now, like sweet and crisp fall air, soothing him instantly. Not at all like Mark.

 

“If I say yes, will you be mad?” Jeno considers that.

 

“No, not really. I do want to know _why_ though, because Mark said there’s a few possible reasons. Are you warning other alphas not to mess with me, Nana?” Jeno asks, close to his ear.

 

“Are you trying to make them think I’m one of them? I can handle myself, you know.”

 

“I know that,” Jaemin says. “It just makes me feel better, knowing it’s not as easy for them to pick up on it, and when I walk you home and it’s dark out...But it’s- I’m sorry. It’s not my decision to make for you. I’ll stop doing it.”

 

“It’s okay. You’re just looking out for me because I’m your friend.” Jaemin clears his throat, and Jeno finally sits up. A friend. Right. That’s all it is.

 

Jeno can smell his emotional turmoil again, but not the cause, so he rubs his cheek against Jaemin’s, scent like apples and pumpkin patches and fall leaves, but instead of peace it just brings Jaemin more anxiety. Anxiety because he doesn’t want to ever lose this, because he loves it so much.

 

Jeno frowns, but pulls away anyways. He hates not knowing how to make it better. He’s never not known how to make it better, because Jaemin is normally so simple, easy to please. He’s been so complex lately. Jaemin pats Jeno’s arm. He wants this to be easy again too.

  


* * *

 

The next two weeks are an exercise in Jaemin’s patience and self control, that’s for sure. It’s one thing to have to _see_ Mark around Jeno, but another thing entirely to smell him on Jeno’s clothes where he should smell apples and fall leaves and _himself._ It’s like Mark’s life mission is to piss Jaemin off, and now he can do that even when he’s not physically present. It _sucks._

 

Jaemin doesn’t want to think about it, Mark and Jeno holding hands or snuggling or going to the movies or dinner. The waiter handing Mark the check because he can tell, definitively, that he’s the alpha in the relationship, or even worse, them _kissing._ He sees a small hickey underneath Jeno’s left ear one day, and he has to go to the bathroom, splash cold water on his face before he growls at anyone again. It’s more than just not wanting to think about it, Jaemin _can’t_ think about it or he starts feeling sick, just wants to pull the covers over his head and go to sleep until the nausea subsides.

 

Realistically, he knows he can’t pretend this is just friendship anymore, not just instincts or hormones or biology or whatever excuse he used to use in the past. And believe him, he’s had many of them. He knows Renjun is right, that despite the reality of it, Jaemin really does feel in his soul that Jeno is _his._ His omega, maybe even his mate. It’s too much, he thinks. It’s too early to feel that way, or maybe it isn’t. He’s known Jeno forever by now, thinks that he’s had enough time to figure out how he feels..  
  


Then Jeno comes into his room one day, flopping facedown on his bed, smelling like sadness. Jaemin puts down his phone, trying not to smile. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what’s happened, and admittedly Jaemin is being selfish, so he gets Jeno to sit up, pulls him into his lap. He asks him what’s wrong but Jeno is moping, so he refuses to look up.

 

“Come on,” Jaemin says, moving so that Jeno shakes with him, an immature attempt to make Jeno laugh, like bouncing a baby. “Tell papa what’s wrong,” That gets a reaction for sure, a look of disgust, a judgemental glance. Jaemin laughs.

 

“Now I’m _never_ telling you,” Jeno says.

 

“You have to! It’s not like you can lie. I can smell that you’re upset, and besides,” Jaemin points out. _“You_ came to _me,”_ Jeno hisses lightly, but it’s not enough to be scary. It never is.

 

“Mark said we should stop seeing each other,” Jeno says, and then deflates like a balloon.

 

“Did he give a reason?”

 

“He just said he thinks we aren’t right for each other, and he said I’m really nice and stuff but he just thinks we’re not meant to be.” Jeno’s eyebrows furrow.

 

“Did he say anything else?”

 

“Yeah...He said I’d know what he meant, that I’d find out soon. I don’t know what the hell _that_ means.” Jaemin furrows his eyebrows now too, matching expressions with Jeno.

 

“What the fuck? Why’d he say it like that? Oh, I hate this guy.” Jeno sniffs.

 

“Well, you don’t have to worry about him anymore,”

 

“Oh, come on,” Jaemin says. “It was like two weeks. You can’t be too heartbroken.”

 

“Hey!” Jeno whines, feeling wronged. “I liked him so much...He’s cool and funny and older than me and _hot._ And he’s a nice guy.”

 

“Was he a good kisser?” Jaemin asks out of nowhere, a stray thought that falls out of his mouth before he can retract it. So be it. He has a sort of morbid curiosity about the entire thing. Jeno gasps, scandalized.

 

“Jaemin,” he whines. “You can’t ask me that,”

 

“Why? Are you saying he was bad?” Jeno sighs.

 

“No, he was good.” Jeno admits. “Now stop, this is embarrassing. Why would you bring this up?”

 

“I don’t know,” Jaemin says. “Just wondering. It’s not like I’m ever gonna find out myself, you know?” he laughs.

 

“That’s true, I guess.” An awkward silence.

 

“...I bet I’m better.” Jaemin says, and Jeno laughs brightly, taken by surprise.

 

“Will you drop it?” he says, but then freezes, laugh cut short. His eyebrows furrow, as if he’s in pain, and Jaemin takes a moment to inhale deeply, freezing.

 

“Jeno,” he says, worried.

 

“I know, I know.”

 

“Let me bring you home, we have to hurry.” he says, and Jeno nods.

 

“Oh, it hurts,” Jeno whines, and Jaemin really can’t take hearing his voice sound like that, thin and sad, pained.

 

“I know it does, but it’s okay! You’ll be home soon!” Jaemin says, trying to stay positive, quickly gathering up Jeno’s stuff. He helps Jeno up, and Jeno does need the help this time, tempted to curl up in a ball from the pain of his stomach twisting, the burn of it. Jeno stands up, and Jaemin shields him the entire way, urging him to walk quickly.

 

“Jaemin,” Jeno hisses, wincing in pain. “I can’t- It’s-” Jaemin doesn’t need to hear anything else, already picking Jeno up, holding him in his arms. Jaemin is full of adrenaline, instincts kicking in, and Jeno feels like nothing, so easy to carry. Jaemin tells Jeno to tuck his head into Jaemin’s chest and hold on tight as he breaks into a run, and before he knows it, they’re in front of Jeno’s house.

 

Jaemin walks up the door, letting Jeno down for just a moment to unlock the door with Jeno’s key, makes it to Jeno’s bedroom and lays him down on his mattress.

 

“Jaemin, I don’t want you to leave,” he whines. “You smell so good, and you make me feel better,” Jaemin shakes his head. He wishes he could stay.

 

“You know that I can’t do that. It won’t end well.”

  
“But Jaemin-”

 

“I can’t stay,” Jaemin says, tone final. Maybe _too_ final, given Jeno’s state, because he sees Jeno turn away to wipe a tear. His face softens. He’s not good at this. The last time he was around Jeno when his heat started was the time Jeno was really sick in public and he had to run him home, and they hadn’t said a word to each other. Jeno was too sick and Jaemin left immediately. He didn’t think about him being more sensitive at this time, especially to his scary sounding alpha voice.

 

“I’m not mad at you,” Jaemin says, this time softer. “It’s just that you need to be somewhere familiar and comfortable where there’s no alpha smells to drive you crazy, and I can’t be here with you.” Jeno nods sadly, but then looks up hopefully.

 

“Can you lay with me for just two minutes? Two minutes, I promise. I’ll make myself get up. Please. Just two.” Jaemin sighs. He doesn’t want to turn him down, and besides, he looks _cute,_ cheek smushed against his sheets, eyes expectant.

 

Jaemin lays down. They’re on top of the blanket because Jeno’s body is too hot to need the covers.

 

“Two minutes!” he reminds him, wrapping his arms around Jeno and pulling him in close. It’s strange. Jaemin always thought this would be more dangerous, the room filling with the sweet scent of omega heat, the desperate pheromones, the temptation of Jeno’s pretty face.

 

But he feels nothing but a sweet affection as he holds Jeno, a pride simmering inside of him, Jeno’s face buried in his chest. He keeps wiggling, like he just can’t get close enough to Jaemin, and while Jeno is unable to see him, he smiles for a moment. This is what any alpha would die for, Jaemin thinks.

 

“We have to get up now,” he says gently. “It’s definitely been more than two minutes. Probably more like ten.” Jaemin says, but then he looks down and realizes that Jeno is asleep, breathing evenly, eyes shut, looking so comfortable. Jaemin caresses his hair once, and then lets his hand rest on the bed. A quick nap, then. It’ll be okay. Jeno lives close.

 

When Jaemin wakes up, Jeno is still asleep, so he slips outside quietly. For a minute, he’s terrified that he’ll see Jeno’s dad on his way out, and this will be his last day on Earth, but he manages to sneak out in time.

 

He feels sad as he walks back home, knowing he won’t see Jeno for five days or so. It’s a long time to go without seeing him, but he can deal with it.

 

* * *

 

 

Jeno comes over six days later, face solemn as he enters. He’s so bad at that, hiding his expression. It puts Jaemin on edge. He thought Jeno would be happy to see him, but he looks like he’s going to throw up.

 

“Are you okay?” Jaemin asks, sitting up on his bed.

 

“I’m fine,” Jeno says too quickly, fake laugh.

 

“You can’t lie to me,” he says sweetly. “I know you,” It seems to be the wrong thing to say, because Jeno tenses even more.

 

“You’re scaring me,” Jaemin says. “Take a seat,” and Jeno does, though he’s not relaxed, his spine ramrod straight as he sits on the edge of Jaemin’s bed. He sighs.

 

“You might not know this...Why would you? You’re no omega...But when you’re in heat you have these weirdly vivid dreams...They’re not really dreams. They’re almost hallucinations, or maybe they’re visions. You reach a point of exhaustion and pain where you’re only semi-conscious, and that’s when it happens.” Jaemin watches him, listening expectantly.

 

“I saw you,” Jeno says, eyes on the floor. “And then I kept seeing you.”

 

“So you dreamt of me,” Jaemin says, shrugging. “It happens.” Jeno looks at him, mouth opening and then closing again.

 

“No, Jaemin.” he says. “It’s not like that. It means something.” Jaemin’s heart rate steadily picks up, like he’s on a morning jog, but there’s none of the cool, clean morning air to soothe his burning lungs.

 

“And I thought about the past couple of months again, and I mean _really_ thought about them. I think you’ve been lying to me, Na Jaemin.” he says. “And don’t lie to me, either, because I think I know you well enough by now. I don’t think you can trick me anymore.”

 

“What have I been lying about?” Jaemin asks, not making eye contact, playing dumb.

 

“You didn’t growl at Mark hyung because of all the pheromones in that gym getting you worked up.” Jeno says. “You were jealous, and you didn’t like him talking to me.”

 

“Of course I didn’t.” Jaemin defends. “All alphas are threats to me. That’s just how I’m built. You know that.”

 

“Jaemin, you can’t keep using that excuse. I told you it won’t work anymore.” Jeno says. “You were jealous because I’m yours, aren’t I?” Jaemin chokes on his spit.

 

“Jeno, you’re not-”

 

“But I kind of am,” Jeno says. “If you think about it.” Jaemin stays silent. “Taking care of me, walking me home, holding me through the worst of the cramps.” He looks at Jaemin.

 

“You’re my alpha,” Jeno says. “You’ve always been my alpha. It’s obvious, isn’t it?”

 

“Jeno…”

 

“Please say something,” Jeno says. “Don’t tell me I’m wrong about this, too.” Jaemin knows this is a pivotal moment, can’t fuck this up. He takes a deep breath.

 

“Jeno,” he says. “I don’t know when it started, it’s just been so long, but I- Yeah. Yeah, I think maybe you’re mine.”

 

“Remember when you brought me home and held me last week?” Jeno asks.

 

“Of course I do,” Jaemin says. “You fell asleep, and I slipped out.”

 

“I wish you never left,” Jeno says, and Jaemin looks at him with wide eyes. “You made the pain go away. When I woke up I felt like I had gotten stabbed. Like my intestines were put through a blender or something.”

 

“Doesn’t it always feel like that?”

 

“Not that bad,” Jeno says. “I never felt pain like that in my life. I wanted you to come back the whole time and just hold me. You wouldn’t have had to do anything else.” he says quietly, the way a confession always is.

 

“What does that mean, Jeno?” Jaemin asks. His head is swimming. He’s bad at this. It took _Renjun_ yelling at him to get him to even realize he loved Jeno.

 

“I think it means I’m yours too. I want to be, at least.”

 

“You want to?”

 

“Yeah,” Jeno says, almost a whisper. “I really do. Can I?”

 

“Come here,” Jaemin says, and Jeno climbs into his lap, wraps his arms around Jaemin, nuzzles into Jaemin’s neck. He’s so _clingy,_ except Jaemin has only ever pretended to hate it.

 

“Jaemin,” Jeno says, sounding like he’s about to cry. “Doesn’t this just feel...right?”

 

“It always has, Jeno. For me, at least.”

 

“I’m sorry I dated Mark.”

 

“Don’t apologize,” he says. “You’re mine now, right?” he asks, laughing, smiling with all of his teeth.He sounds so cocky. “So it shouldn’t matter.” Jeno laughs, averts his gaze, shy.

 

“You’re right.”

 

“Who’s Mark?” Jaemin jokes.

 

“Okay,” Jeno says. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” Damn it.

 

“It was worth a shot,” he shrugs.

 

“Always is,” Jeno laughs.

 

“Your dad is going to kill me. You know that, right? Like he’s actually going to kill me.”

 

“That’s why he’s literally never going to find out.” Jeno says, cheek to cheek with Jaemin, warm and sweet, all the beauty of autumn right here in Jaemin’s room.

 

“Good plan,” Jaemin snorts. Jeno lifts his head up, looks at Jaemin’s lips.

 

“Hey, Jaemin?” Jeno asks.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“If we’re together now, does that mean I can do this?” Jeno asks, and then leans down to peck Jaemin sweetly on the mouth. It’s over too soon, so Jaemin cups Jeno’s jaw and pulls him back for another one, longer this time, slower. It feels like what Jaemin has always wanted, dreamt about. They keep kissing, making up for lost time, lips pressed against lips, Jeno nuzzling into Jaemin’s neck, scenting him.

 

“I gotta write a thank you card to Renjun,” Jaemin mumbles.

 

“What was that?” Jeno asks, nipping at his ear.

 

“Nothing,” Jaemin says quickly, and lets himself melt back into Jeno’s touch.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> hello!!! i know it's been SO long since i've posted something so i apologize. school has been Kicking My Ass. i hope you enjoyed this <3


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